In Love Does Not Mean Willing the Good of The Other , I argued that we cannot say all  we intend to say with “love” by talking only of willing and thinking of the good of the one loved. There is a need for a complex of affections, thoughts and actions forming a relationship of bonding.

 Bonding is a relation of one person to another. The relationship is not always symmetric.  For instance, consider a case of a man and a woman who mutually respect one another and will the good for each other.  However, the man, as the saying goes, falls in love with her.  For, good or ill, he had bound himself in love with her.  However, she does not have, and cannot will to have, that love forming bond with him. He loves her while she does not love him.

Much more needs to be said about bonding because proper control of bonding is essential in sexual morality. Courting, mating and bonding are the areas of human life under the control of human sexual morality.

In my book Confronting Sexual Nihilism: Traditional Sexual Morality as an Antidote to Nihilihism Tulsa 2012, I specify courting, bonding, mating as the main areas of sexual morality. In the book I focus on mating, eg. coitus. A free copy of this book is available by emailing kielkopf.1@osu.edu.